The Game
by TheQuirkyWriter
Summary: One Shot: USUK "The game doesn't work when you play it by yourself, you twat!" America tries to get England to play a game with him. England is not amused. AmericaxEngland Rated T for innapro-pro language. Anonymous reviews accepted


**Ok, so this is my second story! Hope it gets more traffic than my first one. *fingers crossed* Anyway this is rated T for language. It's US x UK again! I'm obsessed with this pairing! It's my first yaoi fandom. I can't wait to get into it more. Please enjoy.**

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><p><strong>The Game<strong>

Today was pleasant. The weather was warm, the sun was out, and there was a light breeze. To add to the perfect day, it was also Sunday. A nice, peaceful Sunday in the good ol' country of England.

England himself was quite excited to spend a relaxing Sunday outside on his porch with some tea and a good book.

'_Maybe I'll even go for a stroll later, or perhaps some embroidery or needlework.' _He mused as he set his tea tray down on the wicker table. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, savoring the nice day. But just as he was about to sit down, a large banging erupted through the air, followed by a shrill, familiar yell.

"ENGLAND! OPEN UP! I CAME TO VISIT!" England groaned agitatedly, but decided to sit down anyway.

'_If I ignore him long enough he'll get bored and go away.' _He decided as he cracked his book open in an attempt to read.

Unfortunately the banging persisted, along with America's yelling.

"AAH! C'MON IGGY! OPEN UP! BRITAIN!"

'_Can't he take a hint?' _He thought bitterly. The banging continued for a few moments more, but suddenly stopped. England looked up surprised.

'_Did he really just leave?' _England couldn't believe America left. Usually he would persist for at least ten minutes and then just break in. But leave? That's never happened.

'_Why do I suddenly feel… disappointed?' _It was silly, ridiculous even that he cared that America left. He should be feeling happy, thankful that that idiot has decided to leave him alone for once.

'_But still… why would he just lea-'_

"HEY BRITAIN!"

*sigh*

'_Never mind.' _The Brit grimaced as he looked to his right to find America with one leg over his fence, straddling it, waving his arms wildly with a dumb grin plastered to his cute face.

Ahem… no not cute. Stupid. Stupid face. England certainly didn't think America had a cute face. That was absurd.

"America, please be careful before you-"

*wobble* "Ah shit!" *thud* "Oww…"

"-fall… bloody wanker." The island nation grumbled as he went over begrudgingly to the young country and offered a hand.

"Wow… you should really get a new fence… this one is probably older than you, old man!" America exclaimed, grabbing onto England's hand and pulling himself up. England glared.

"The fence isn't old; you're just a fat arse." He released his hold on America's hand, letting the nation fall back down on his ass.

"C'mon Britain! Is that any way to treat your guest?" America jumped up to his feet, dusting his pants off, his cheeky grin never faltering.

"Guest? Please, you're nothing but an annoying pest that I cannot get rid of." He turned and walked back to his wicker table and chair. America followed diligently.

"Whatever dude, I know you like my visits! Now then," He sat across the table from England, "entertain me!"

'_Bloody hell!'_

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><p>"Ugh! This is so boring!" America exclaimed. His shoulders slumped and face dull and somewhat sour.<p>

"Look, if you're so bloomin' bored, then you can sod off and go bother your own land mass." The bushy browed Brit continued walking down the busied street as the young nation groaned and followed.

"Ah! Seriously dude? My legs hurt and I'm tired!" America threw his arms around Britain's shoulders, draping himself around the older country and dragged his feet.

England's cheeks grew bright red as he glared and huffed.

"Get the bloody hell off me, you tosser! I will not tolerate dragging you around all day!" He then grabbed America's arms and forcefully pulled them off of him. America, being the oh so mature nation he is, proceeded to cling onto England's leg, as he made his whole body go limp. The Brit scowled, but continued walking with America being dragged behind him.

"Pleeeease, Britain! Can we at least take a break?" America continued to whine as he was dragged along for about another block until Britain finally groaned and gave into his former colony, ceasing his steps.

"Fine, we can take a break." America grinned and leapt up from the ground, a confident and smug grin on his face.

"Yeah! I knew you'd give in eventually, cause unlike you, I'm a hero! And heroes never give u-"

"Shut it! Damn yank…" America closed his mouth, pretending to zip it shut. England smiled fondly at his companion's childish acts and pointed towards a nearby café with outdoor seating.

"Come on, let us get some lunch."

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><p>"I refuse to be a part of such childishness." England turned his face away and sipped the tea he had ordered.<p>

"C'mon Iggy! It's fun, I promise!" America insisted. England glared for the umpteenth time that day.

"It's not fun. It's immature and a game for imbeciles. I've never played it and I never will." America just chuckled and persisted on.

"You gotta be shitting me! You seriously have never played this game!" America looked baffled, much to England's annoyance, and refused to drop the subject.

"Now you have to play! C'mon! If not for you or me, than do it for the deprived idiot inside of you!" England groaned at America's words and slapped his forehead incredulously.

"You do realize you just called yourself an idiot for playing that bloody game, right?" America paused for a moment and reflected his words. Realizing that Britain was right, he grinned sheepishly.

"Well you know what? I'd rather be an idiot than a stuffy old man!" He said chuckling. Britain shook his head and continued to sip his tea.

"I can't believe I raised such a git." He admitted embarrassed. America smirked mischievously, causing England to look over the young man cautiously.

"What are you gonna do?" He accused, eyeing America suspiciously. America narrowed his eyes, as if challenging him, his smirk never faltering.

"… penis…"

It's very soft and quiet and only England could hear him say it. Britain's mouth widened aghast at his former colony. He looked around, blushing nervously, hoping no one in the crowded café noticed or overheard.

"A-America!" He whispered it harshly, not wanting to gain any attention, America's smirk merely increased as his mouth began to open again.

"Penis…"

This time he said it slightly louder, and two women at the table next to them look over, one curious, almost confused, while the other looked scandalized. England waved his fingers and laughed awkwardly.

"I'm so sorry; he's… a bit off. Please enjoy the rest of your meal." The confused woman smiled and mumbled an 'It's ok, thank you.' While the other woman scoffed and turned away from him. England sighed out of relief before glaring at America.

"Ok, you've had you're fun, now would you ple-"

"Penis."

Once again the two women looked over; both with similar expressions form the previous encounter, as well as a few other surrounding tables, all with annoyed or confused expressions.

"Ahem… I duly apologize for my friend, you see he has… uh… Tourette's and has problems contr-"

"Penis!"

More people look over, some even amused.

"Oh, you see, there he goes again! Please continue on with your day and ignore him." The people in the café looked away, some eager, others reluctant, but a couple annoyed mothers with young children continued to glare at England and America's table for a few moments more.

"For the love of all that is decent, would you please shut it!" England seethed his words harshly through clenched teeth, but America stayed resilient as ever and narrowed his eyes playfully even more.

"Not until you play the game." He challenged, the older nation's face guffawed for several moments before turning angry and hostile.

"No, I will not indulge you and your-"

"Penis!"

And once again, all eyes were on them. The ENTIRE café was looking. The customers, the wait staff, even a few pigeons for Christ sake.

England sent a death glare toward the immature man across from him, not caring about their audience. He took in a deep breath, and cracked his knuckles threateningly, hoping to intimidate the American.

"Look, you damn, bloody, fucking, fat arse tosser! The game doesn't work when you play it by yourself, you twat!" England was officially steaming now. His face red from anger and humiliation, and his glare was like a dagger. In fact, Britain wished he had a dagger so he could rid himself of his imbecile friend.

Everyone in the café was silent, no one dared to move or say anything. America, however, hadn't been affected by the outburst at all. With an even smugger smirk, and more daring gaze (if that were possible) America took in a breath and prepared himself for his loudest attempt at the game yet.

"PE-"

"PPPEEENNNIIIS!"

America jumped in surprise and his expression was one of absolute shock. Had England really just do what he thought he had?

"There, I said it! I played your _stupid_ game! Can we PLEASE be done with it already?" England was panting heavily as he forced his words out, extremely embarrassed by his outburst.

America on the other hand… laughed enthusiastically, the happiest smile plastered to his delighted face.

"Britain! That was completely awesome! You were so cool!" England just blushed and tried his best to ignore him as he watched the bystanders, customers, and waiters all turn away to return to their own business. He sighed gratefully.

"Dude! We have to play again!" America said excitedly, bouncing up and down in his seat. England groaned and smacked his forehead. He looked over to the American who was preparing to start the game over.

'_How can I stop him from starting this mess all over again?'_

England suddenly had a thought, and smirked mischievously. America however didn't notice as the older nation leaned towards him secretively.

The American opened his mouth and took in a breath.

"… pen-nnmmph!"

England had captured America's lips in his, shocking the yank to no end. After his shock wore off, the younger man smiled against Britain's lips and kissed back. His fingers graced England's face, and trailing down his jaw line, resting them around the back of the Brit's neck; meanwhile the Brit was lacing his fingers through America's soft hair.

They eventually separated, each with a satisfied smile on their slightly swollen lips.

England once again smirked and leaned foreword to whisper in America's ear.

"How about we play a different penis game?"

And before England could even separate from America, money was slammed down on the table, and all the other patrons could see were the two men making a mad dash down the street towards England's home.

As the two new lovers ran, their hands clasped together tightly, America smirked and looked over to England, who was smiling happily.

"I have a feeling your penis game will be so much better than mine!" He said as casually as he could. Britain put on his own smirk.

"Oh it is, and it's so much bigger too!"

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><p><strong>Well, there you have it! Has anyone else ever played that game? I have! And I always win! Most of the time… Anyway I really hope you liked it! Please review to tell me what you thought, whether you liked it, or found something wrong that I should fix, whatever! I just hope you liked it! It was semi-inspired by '500 Days of Summer' if any of you are familiar with that film. If not, I highly recommend it! Thanks for reading!<strong>

**PENIS!**


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